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We recommend water-based lube because it is safe to use with all types of toys. Generally you don’t need to disinfect toys that only one person uses or that stay covered with condoms. Some nonporous, nonmotorized toys can go into the dishwasher without soap for steam sanitizing.

By contrast, the Rin was so gentle that it was a struggle to make it all the way to orgasm, and the Temari, while beautiful to look at and strong enough, was a little awkward to maneuver. The Kushi is the only classy strappy mesh splicing crotchless one piece suit of the three that she tested both in bed and in the bath (all six of the Tenga toys tested are waterproof up to 20 inches), and it worked well in both situations, though it worked faster in the bath. Because the Kushi is nice enough to leave out, she can look at it all day and get excited about playing with it later that night. Overall, Tester M was very impressed with the Kushi, so much so that she is adding it to her permanent toy rotation. Most of all, she loves how the pointed tip and the multiple ridges transmit vibrations to all the right places. "This is the first time I truly understand the phrase ‘ribbed for her pleasure,’" she says.

I like unique toys that work well with solo or partner play for added diversity, as well. Another benefit of toys that allow you to let go, literally and emotionally, is they can enhance partner sex without causing you to disconnect from the person you’re with. The entire thing vibrates, so you can use it flat as an external vibrator by yourself or with a partner, bend it for whatever angle you need, or bend it completely in half and use it as a dual stimulation toy.

If you have a cold sore and you give your partner oral sex, you can infect them with the herpes virus. Even shallow insertion of the penis into the vagina (sometimes called dipping) carries risks for both partners. Jordi Lippe-McGraw is a freelance writer and editor covering travel, parenting, and wellness. She’s traveled to more than 50 countries on all seven continents (including Antarctica while five months pregnant) and equally loves penguins and truffles.

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